Kawasaki World banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,246 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Girls night out

Two women go out one weekend without their husbands. As they came
back, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee.
They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and
drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway.

The first one did not have anything to clean herself with, so she
took off her panties and used them to clean herself and discarded them.
The second not finding anything either, thought "I'm not getting rid of
my panties..." so she used the ribbon of a flower wreath to clean
herself.

The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on
the phone, and one says to the other: "We have to be on the look-out, it
seems that these two were up to no good last night. My wife came
home without her panties...".

The other one responded: "You're lucky, mine came home with a card
stuck to her ass that read, "We will never forget you".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,246 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
Cards that Hallmark doesn't print:

1. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire .. I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

2. Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder ...What the hell was I thinking?

3. Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

4. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life ....
I never believed in Hell till I met you.

5. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
that you're not here to ruin it for me.

6. Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

7. Someday I hope to get married ...
But not to you.

8. Happy birthday!
You look great for your age...
Almost lifelike!

9. When we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father is?

11. You are such a good friend that if we were on a
sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something
special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,246 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
COWBOY AT A GAY BAR
>
>A COWBOY WALKS INTO A BAR AND TWO STEPS IN HE REALIZES ITS A
>GAY BAR.
>"BUT WHAT THE HECK," HE SAYS TO HIMSELF, "I REALLY WANT A DRINK."
>
>WHEN THE GAY WAITER APPROACHES, HE SAYS TO THE COWBOY, "WHAT'S THE
>NAME OF YOUR PENIS?"
>
>THE COWBOY SAYS, "LOOK, I'M NOT INTO ANY OF THAT. ALL I WANT
>IS A DRINK."
>
>THE GAY WAITER SAYS "I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T SERVE YOU UNTIL YOU
>TELL ME THE NAME OF YOUR PENIS. MINE FOR INSTANCE IS CALLED
>NIKE, FOR THE SLOGAN 'JUST DO IT.' THAT GUY DOWN AT THE END OF THE
>BAR CALLS HIS "SNICKERS", BECAUSE 'IT REALLY SATISFIES'."
>
>THE COWBOY LOOKED DUMBFOUNDED SO THE WAITER TELLS HIM HE
>WILL GIVE HIM A SECOND TO THINK IT OVER. SO THE COWBOY ASKS THE MAN
>SITTING TO HIS LEFT, WHO IS SIPPING ON A BEER, "HEY BUD, WHAT'S THE
>NAME OF YOURS?"
>THE MAN LOOKS BACK AND SAYS WITH A SMILE "TIMEX."
>
>THE THIRSTY COWBOY ASKS "WHY TIMEX?"
>
>THE FELLA PROUDLY REPLIES, "CAUSE IT TAKES A LICKIN' AND KEEPS ON
>TICKIN'!"
>
>A LITTLE SHAKEN THE COWBOY TURNS TO THE FELLA ON HIS RIGHT, WHO IS
>SIPPING A FRUITY MARGARITA AND SAYS "SO, WHAT DO YOU CALL YOURS?"
>
>THE MAN TURNS TO HIM AND PROUDLY EXCLAIMS "FORD, BECAUSE QUALITY IS
>JOB ONE." THEN HE ADDS "HAVE YOU DRIVEN A FORD LATELY?"
>
>EVEN MORE SHAKEN, THE COWBOY HAS TO THINK FOR A MOMENT BEFORE HE
>COMES UP WITH A NAME FOR HIS MANHOOD.
>FINALLY, HE TURNS TO THE BARTENDER AND EXCLAIMS
>
>"THE NAME OF MY PENIS IS 'SECRET'. NOW GIVE ME A BEER."
>
>THE BARTENDER BEGINS TO POUR THE CUSTOMER A BEER, BUT WITH A
>PUZZLED LOOK ASKS, "WHY SECRET?"
>
>THE CUSTOMER SAYS, "BECAUSE IT'S STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE
>FOR A WOMAN!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,246 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
A man staggers into an emergency room with a
> > > concussion, multiple
> > > bruises,
> > > > >
> > > > >two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly
> > > around his throat.
> > > > >
> > > > >Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
> > > > >
> > > > >Well, it was like this", said the man. "I was
> > > having a quiet round of
> > > golf
> > > > >with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both
> > > sliced our balls into a
> > > > >pasture of cows.
> > > > >
> > > > >We went to look for them, and while I was rooting
> > > around noticed one of
> > > the
> > > > >cows had something white at its rear end.
> > > > >
> > > > >I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure
> > > enough, there was a golf
> > > > >ball
> > > > >with my wife's monogram on it--stuck right in the
> > > middle of the cow's
> > > butt.
> > > > >
> > > > >That's when I made my big mistake."
> > > > >
> > > > >What did you do?" asks the doctor.
> > > > >
> > > > >Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my
> > > wife, 'Hey, this looks
> > > like
> > > > >yours!'
> > > > >
> > > > >I don't remember much after that.
>
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top