A sad outcome and one everyone knows you didn't want.. You have gone above and beyond on this boy as we have all witnessed. It's time he learns how deep the waters of life can get.. You're a damn good man Jeff for all you have done... Don't forget that.
son charged with felony burglary
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Jeff, I am so sorry that it has reached this point with your son. You truly have done the right thing, and stay strong and hold your ground.
The reason I say that is I have just got home from dealing with yet another gang related homicide involving young people. I have been to quite a few in the past 6 months Jeff and you know what joins them all together? Apathetic parents who do not stand up and do what is right for themselves AND their children. Which is why I can say you have done the right thing, and the dose of reality might help bring him around.
Let me know if there is any way I can help or if you just need to vent. Unfortunately I have a great deal of experience with what your dealing with right now. It makes me sad that your going through this...stay strong!
Ray
The reason I say that is I have just got home from dealing with yet another gang related homicide involving young people. I have been to quite a few in the past 6 months Jeff and you know what joins them all together? Apathetic parents who do not stand up and do what is right for themselves AND their children. Which is why I can say you have done the right thing, and the dose of reality might help bring him around.
Let me know if there is any way I can help or if you just need to vent. Unfortunately I have a great deal of experience with what your dealing with right now. It makes me sad that your going through this...stay strong!
Ray
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My son and his friend broke into a skateboard shop and stole about $3K worth of merchandise.
The assault happened a few months later. There was a kid that my son and his friends had an altercation with earlier in the summer(over a girlfriend I believe)... well, my son and the same kid, and another kid decided to vandalize the house and car. My son was the driver, he never got out of the car. The other two boys 16 and 17(my son was 17 at the time) hopped out of the car and threw rocks(big ass rocks) one thru the back windshield of a new hemi daytona charger and the other through a bedroom window. The rock that went thru the bedroom window just barely missed an 8 year old boy---luckily the kid was having a sleepover and was sleeping on the floor with his friend. If not, the 8 yo would've had about a 20 pound rock land on his face....it literally landed on the kids pillow. So, since my son was driving, he was charged as an adult. The 16 yo got off completely, but he will be spending the rest of his life in and out of jail. The other 17 yo 'disappeared' after this happened. From what I understand, his dad was military....I wasn't allowed to see any of the information on the other kids. Dealing with the courts was an unbearable delima, and quite honestly, at the time, I could've cared less if they threw the book at my son. I couldn't teach him anything so I was hoping the court system would....my vision was skewed with anger.
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Sometimes life sux. Good luck with everything Lie.
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Things are looking better, obviously my point of view.
My sons PO called me to let me know he is being sent to a halfway house. He will be getting his GED, a job, and he will have a place to stay. It sucks, but its what he needs. The only way around it was to let him move back in with us...I told my son and the PO that it was not a viable option.
More to follow...
Thanks again!
Jeff
My sons PO called me to let me know he is being sent to a halfway house. He will be getting his GED, a job, and he will have a place to stay. It sucks, but its what he needs. The only way around it was to let him move back in with us...I told my son and the PO that it was not a viable option.
More to follow...
Thanks again!
Jeff
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Glad that you are taking a stand against his unacceptable behavior, and letting him know it will no longer be tolerated.
I respect your decision because I understand you can see the big picture and are making a sacrifice in the name of your son's future.
Good for you.
He will eventually grow up and mature, and understand that what you've done is in his best interests in mind.
I respect your decision because I understand you can see the big picture and are making a sacrifice in the name of your son's future.
Good for you.
He will eventually grow up and mature, and understand that what you've done is in his best interests in mind.
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my fingers are crossed.
I'm sure that he knows deep inside that this is the best him( for all of us). It gives me and my wife a break and it gives him time to reflect on his poor decisions. The PO explained to me that the facility is a lockdown for the first month or so and then he will be allowed to visit us on the weekends. The best part is that this 5 years of probation, job, GED, court costs, restitution, and fees 'should' all be settled by the time he finishes. Right now it looks like 6 months--as long as he sticks with it.
He has seen his brother and several good friends join the military, so I'm hoping this will be the quickest way to get back on track.
He also sees how well they are doing and that they have a little coin in their pockets. He actually stayed at my house this weekend, he was complaining about not getting any sleep, no food, his shit disappearing, no privacy, no way to do laundry, etc....Life. Anyhow, the electricity was off at the place he was staying until Monday. Monday evening I dropped him off, and the guys he was staying with never showed up to let him in the house. Personally, I think they were telling him not to come back. So he dragged all his crap over to another fellas apartment. Long story short, he's getting a HUGE dose of reality. With any luck it will sink in and he will 'adapt and overcome'.
He's still got a loaf of bread and a case of ramen noodles...I just can't stand the thought of my boy being hungry.
Now I'm just waiting to find out when he actually leaves for the half-house and I still don't know exactly where he's living.
Rambling....but things are gonna get better. As Always, thanks for your well wishes and support.
Damn, I just went back and read both pages of this thread....Damn this has been a long train.
Hey this is Curtis, Thank you all for your comments and help...i truly think i have learned my lesson...thank you again.
CURT!S
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+1! Sounds like you've done and continue to do everything you can to make it work. Maybe the dose of reality will "scare him straight", so to speak. Hopefully he'll figure out that he's still got a huge opportunity for a great life ahead!
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my son is going to be there for a minimum of 6 months. I visist on the weekends, whether I want to or not. The place sucks and he bitches and complains every time I talk to him..."It's Curtis against the Man" from his point of view. I stay positive when I talk to him and remind him every time he has had every opportunity to avoid this place. Hopefully he will shape up....more to follow. Starts his GED training this morning.
Thanks
Jeff
BTW, my Jarhead will my stationed in Okinawa for 2 years....
Thanks
Jeff
BTW, my Jarhead will my stationed in Okinawa for 2 years....
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2,325 Posts
Jeff, your a better man than me, I could have in no way offered ANYONE as many chances and options as you have.. I understand love for a child but, I don't deal with anger as well as you.. and would have a lot of explaining about the fall he had when he stole my car..
Good luck man, I cant fathom the stress this puts on families..
Good luck man, I cant fathom the stress this puts on families..
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me good with anger? Ha. Kidding. My nickname at work is "Big Angry". Its taken me a long time to figure out the way I used to do stuff was lesssss than perfect. I guess I'm blessed with the fact that I haven't choked his ass out. Believe me, I wanted to many, many times. But, it would have only risked my career and ability to own guns. Not to mention, once I start choking someone who believes it, I get....a little over the top and
don't know when enough is enough.
btw, my meds help with the anger.
don't know when enough is enough.
btw, my meds help with the anger.
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25,375 Posts
Hang in there, Brother-man!! :thumbup::thumbup:
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Oldest is doing fine, living in TN with his gramms and tinkering with his civic...might even be working, but not real hard. I kid.
My jarhead just got hemmed up with 45/45/30(days of restriction/extra duty/ pay) for disrespect to Non-commissioned officer. He's learning from his mistakes.
Youngest...sophomore in HS, doing well.
We moved to Lawton, OK in December. Nice Change for the most part. Me and the wife hit out 16th Anniversary tomorrow.
Been in a pretty dark place for awhile. Back on the 14. Missed shooting the shit with you guys. I will be around more often.
Jeff
My jarhead just got hemmed up with 45/45/30(days of restriction/extra duty/ pay) for disrespect to Non-commissioned officer. He's learning from his mistakes.
Youngest...sophomore in HS, doing well.
We moved to Lawton, OK in December. Nice Change for the most part. Me and the wife hit out 16th Anniversary tomorrow.
Been in a pretty dark place for awhile. Back on the 14. Missed shooting the shit with you guys. I will be around more often.
Jeff
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889 Posts
What a ride! While reading about your ordeal w/ your boy I couldn't help but think about our soon to be 21 y/o daughter . She had a lapse in judgment several years ago that earned her a brief loss of her freedom. Luckily she was a minor and has since gotten her ish' together..for the most part.
One of her biggest lessons was realizing mom and dad are capable of delivering tough love. Best of luck to you L2M.
One of her biggest lessons was realizing mom and dad are capable of delivering tough love. Best of luck to you L2M.
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